In this powerful episode of the Active Action Podcast, host Dr. Nazif sits down with Ari Rastegar, founder and CEO of Rastegar Capital and author of The Gift of Failure. Starting with just a $3,500 student loan in law school, Ari built a multi-billion dollar real estate investment empire—but his real story isn't about the money. It's about the mindset.
Ari opens up about the soul-crushing failures that shaped him, why he believes "failure is how we learn to win," and the meditation practices that keep him grounded as he runs a major firm and raises three children. From a single catastrophic week where an ice storm destroyed his Super Bowl event and a Legionnaires' disease outbreak cancelled his Playboy Mansion party to the wisdom he's drawn from Tony Robbins, Dr. Joe Dispenza, and Nelson Mandela—Ari shares hard-earned lessons on resilience, ownership, and the difference between pain and suffering.
If you've ever felt stuck after a setback or wondered how successful people actually think, this conversation will change the way you see your own struggles.
What Listeners Will Learn
- Why pressure is non-negotiable for growth — and how meditation can help you stay calm inside it
- The crucial difference between failing and being a failure (hint: only one is permanent)
- Why you should "lay on your back" after a fall before getting back up
- How keeping promises to yourself builds the self-respect that makes transparency possible
- The difference between pain and suffering — and why suffering is often a choice
- Why ownership and total responsibility are the foundation of a meaningful life
- How shifting from "how much can I make?" to "how much can I protect?" transformed Ari's investment philosophy
- What Nelson Mandela's response to Tony Robbins teaches us about preparation vs. survival
- The single week that turned Ari from a millionaire into a broke 20-something — and why he's grateful it happened
Be sure to check the webpage of Ari at the Active Action Podcast Website to learn more about his work, and ways to connect with him.
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00:00:48 --> 00:00:51 Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode
00:00:51 --> 00:00:54 of the Active Action Podcast. It's me, your host,
00:00:54 --> 00:00:57 Nazeeb, back again with another amazing guest.
00:00:57 --> 00:01:02 And today I have with us... Ari Rastegar. Ari
00:01:02 --> 00:01:07 is the founder and CEO of the Rastegar Capital,
00:01:07 --> 00:01:10 a leading real estate investment fund. So Ari
00:01:10 --> 00:01:14 Rastegar is a real estate investor, author, and
00:01:14 --> 00:01:18 entrepreneur known for turning failure into long
00:01:18 --> 00:01:22 -term leverage. And he started with just $3
00:01:22 --> 00:01:26 loan while Studying at a law school, he went
00:01:26 --> 00:01:29 on to building a multi -billion dollar real estate
00:01:29 --> 00:01:32 portfolio. And along that way, he learned that
00:01:32 --> 00:01:35 real success isn't just about capital, but it's
00:01:35 --> 00:01:38 about clarity, resilience, and health as well.
00:01:53 --> 00:01:57 750 followers across different social media
00:01:57 --> 00:02:00 platforms. That's huge. Thank you so much, Ari,
00:02:00 --> 00:02:02 for joining today's podcast. How are you doing
00:02:02 --> 00:02:06 this evening, my man? I'm living the dream. Wonderful,
00:02:06 --> 00:02:09 Ari. I'm so happy to have you in my podcast today
00:02:09 --> 00:02:12 and hoping that our listeners would be benefited
00:02:12 --> 00:02:14 from our conversations and the wonderful story
00:02:14 --> 00:02:18 that you have. overturn and build this empire
00:02:18 --> 00:02:20 and having such a huge number of followers i
00:02:20 --> 00:02:24 know people looking to you as role models for
00:02:24 --> 00:02:26 businesses for advices so i'm happy to have you
00:02:26 --> 00:02:30 in my episode to share some of that word of wisdom
00:02:30 --> 00:02:35 with you ari this evening happy to be here ari
00:02:35 --> 00:02:38 so you have built a success in high pressure
00:02:38 --> 00:02:41 environments, if I understand. What did you learn
00:02:41 --> 00:02:44 about yourself through going on those moments
00:02:44 --> 00:02:48 and when even things didn't go as planned? Well,
00:02:48 --> 00:02:50 thank you for the question. Whenever you're after
00:02:50 --> 00:02:54 something that's bigger than you, you know, and
00:02:54 --> 00:02:56 I say that because wherever your level of consciousness
00:02:56 --> 00:02:59 is, wherever your level of thinking is, when
00:02:59 --> 00:03:01 you're pushing for something new, you have to
00:03:01 --> 00:03:05 grow. If it's looking to make more money, if
00:03:05 --> 00:03:08 it's looking to change your body. to your health,
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 to travel. Whatever you're doing, you're looking
00:03:11 --> 00:03:13 to push a boundary. And when you're pushing a
00:03:13 --> 00:03:16 boundary, you're changing. And when you're changing,
00:03:16 --> 00:03:20 that requires growth. And growth requires pressure.
00:03:21 --> 00:03:23 Just if you're lifting weights, if you want to
00:03:23 --> 00:03:26 grow your muscles, you push pressure. But coal
00:03:26 --> 00:03:29 is going to become a diamond. It requires pressure.
00:03:29 --> 00:03:34 The universal truth of any type of growth is
00:03:34 --> 00:03:37 pressure. And so one of the great skills that
00:03:37 --> 00:03:41 we can learn as human beings is to be able to
00:03:41 --> 00:03:45 be calm. in pressure. And one of the greatest
00:03:45 --> 00:03:49 tools that I've learned for this is meditation.
00:03:49 --> 00:03:51 And I know a lot of people have talked about
00:03:51 --> 00:03:54 meditation and there is many different kinds.
00:03:54 --> 00:03:59 You know, there's a Vedic tradition. I've recently
00:03:59 --> 00:04:02 done a lot of work with Dr. Joe Dispenza. And
00:04:02 --> 00:04:05 if you all know Dr. Joe, and if you don't, you
00:04:05 --> 00:04:07 should absolutely look him up. He's a phenomenal,
00:04:08 --> 00:04:11 phenomenal neuroscientist. teacher professor
00:04:11 --> 00:04:16 that has really created a way to make science
00:04:16 --> 00:04:21 the language of mysticism for now we can see
00:04:21 --> 00:04:25 what happens to our heart when we start to come
00:04:25 --> 00:04:28 into a more meditative state to look at our brain
00:04:28 --> 00:04:31 waves and see what happens because now we can
00:04:31 --> 00:04:34 look at heart scans and see what the heart rate
00:04:34 --> 00:04:37 variability of a heart with anxiety looks then
00:04:37 --> 00:04:39 we can see what a heart with gratitude looks
00:04:39 --> 00:04:43 like And there's ways that we can train ourselves
00:04:43 --> 00:04:46 through this practice to have a more coherent
00:04:46 --> 00:04:50 heart and a more coherent mind. And those things
00:04:50 --> 00:04:53 allow us to live a more coherent life. And so
00:04:53 --> 00:04:56 no matter what you're after, no matter what your
00:04:56 --> 00:04:58 goal is, no matter what you're looking to achieve,
00:04:59 --> 00:05:02 Amounts of stress. And trust me, I've been there.
00:05:02 --> 00:05:04 I wrote a whole book about failure. And I can
00:05:04 --> 00:05:06 only speak to this to you because I've done it
00:05:06 --> 00:05:10 so bad for so long that desperation led me to
00:05:10 --> 00:05:12 change. And that's what usually happens. It's
00:05:12 --> 00:05:15 not inspiration that makes us change in my experience.
00:05:15 --> 00:05:19 It's necessity that makes us change. And I found
00:05:19 --> 00:05:23 that being able to have a practice, a practice
00:05:23 --> 00:05:27 of stillness where I can close my eyes. and go
00:05:27 --> 00:05:30 into a place where I can focus on the space around
00:05:30 --> 00:05:33 my body and be able to calm my mind and calm
00:05:33 --> 00:05:39 my brain, that is preparation for activity. So
00:05:39 --> 00:05:41 that before you go out in the day, all of a sudden,
00:05:41 --> 00:05:43 we've all done this. We wake up and immediately
00:05:43 --> 00:05:45 we look at our phone and we're in a hurry and
00:05:45 --> 00:05:46 you're jumping around and you're getting ready
00:05:46 --> 00:05:48 and you're chasing the kids and you're trying
00:05:48 --> 00:05:51 to eat something on the run. This type of behavior...
00:05:52 --> 00:05:58 is not conducive to the type of thoughtful, calm,
00:05:58 --> 00:06:02 patient, tactical approach to build things that
00:06:02 --> 00:06:05 are meaningful. To build, you know, this type
00:06:05 --> 00:06:07 of person doesn't sound like a boss you want
00:06:07 --> 00:06:09 to have. Doesn't sound like a CEO you want to
00:06:09 --> 00:06:12 have or a leader you want to have. Or a dad that's
00:06:12 --> 00:06:14 just jumping up and running around the room trying
00:06:14 --> 00:06:16 to get kids ready, running around like crazy.
00:06:17 --> 00:06:20 So if we can take a moment and we can invest
00:06:20 --> 00:06:24 in ourselves to calm the mind, even for five
00:06:24 --> 00:06:27 minutes, and so we can start our day or in the
00:06:27 --> 00:06:29 middle of the day when we get stressed and we
00:06:29 --> 00:06:31 reach for the extra coffee or something, if we
00:06:31 --> 00:06:35 can take a moment to pause and reset the body
00:06:35 --> 00:06:38 and go after the things we're doing, it is a
00:06:38 --> 00:06:43 phenomenal tool, phenomenal gift to help everything
00:06:43 --> 00:06:47 in your life come from a deeper... empathetic
00:06:47 --> 00:06:51 place from a deeper calm from a place of more
00:06:51 --> 00:06:54 balance and more harmony and I run a very big
00:06:54 --> 00:06:57 business as you said I'm a father of three and
00:06:57 --> 00:07:00 these are things that have helped me so profoundly
00:07:01 --> 00:07:03 deal with anything when the world is kicking
00:07:03 --> 00:07:06 at you emails and text messages and begging for
00:07:06 --> 00:07:09 your attention jumping here and there but if
00:07:09 --> 00:07:11 we can take a moment to center to physically
00:07:11 --> 00:07:14 center and make that a part of our practice we
00:07:14 --> 00:07:17 put ourselves in a position where we can thrive
00:07:17 --> 00:07:19 in anything that we're doing That's so wonderful
00:07:19 --> 00:07:23 to hear, Ari. And many of us don't put that perspective
00:07:23 --> 00:07:26 or don't put that time, as you mentioned, invest
00:07:26 --> 00:07:29 yourself to know what is good for your mental
00:07:29 --> 00:07:34 well -being, but also how to prioritize your
00:07:34 --> 00:07:36 work. You are a family man. I can see you have
00:07:36 --> 00:07:39 a father of three, but you also have a multi
00:07:39 --> 00:07:42 -billion dollar business. So navigating those
00:07:42 --> 00:07:45 two very different situations and very different
00:07:45 --> 00:07:51 scenarios. does demand having a mental calmness
00:07:51 --> 00:07:54 and peace and stability to navigate effectively
00:07:54 --> 00:07:58 both ways. Ari, again, I wanted to ask you, you
00:07:58 --> 00:08:01 have seen everything in life. You started with
00:08:01 --> 00:08:07 a $3 loan when you were in law school, and
00:08:07 --> 00:08:10 now you're the CEO and founder of a multi -billion
00:08:10 --> 00:08:14 dollar business. I know that you have gone through
00:08:14 --> 00:08:18 the pipeline of being in between failure and
00:08:18 --> 00:08:21 success. A lot of our audiences are currently
00:08:21 --> 00:08:24 struggling on their very initial phase of life.
00:08:24 --> 00:08:27 And so from your experience, is there a difference
00:08:27 --> 00:08:31 between failing and being a failure? And if so,
00:08:31 --> 00:08:35 how do people mentally cross that line and how
00:08:35 --> 00:08:38 do they come back from it? Well, I'll tell you,
00:08:38 --> 00:08:40 thank you for the question again, because questions
00:08:40 --> 00:08:44 are the answer. You know, amateurs look for answers,
00:08:44 --> 00:08:47 professionals seek better questions. And I'll
00:08:47 --> 00:08:50 tell you, yes, there is a huge difference. The
00:08:50 --> 00:08:55 only true failure is quitting. Otherwise, it's
00:08:55 --> 00:09:00 not failure, it's temporary defeat. And my definition
00:09:00 --> 00:09:04 now of failure is learning how to win. Everybody
00:09:04 --> 00:09:07 that learns any skill. Anybody listening to this
00:09:07 --> 00:09:10 that has learned some skill, you say, oh, I haven't
00:09:10 --> 00:09:11 learned anything. Well, you learned how to walk.
00:09:11 --> 00:09:14 You learned how to talk, at the very least. And
00:09:14 --> 00:09:17 didn't you stutter at first? Didn't you talk
00:09:17 --> 00:09:20 like that? When you first learned to stand up,
00:09:20 --> 00:09:22 didn't you fall down? And then didn't you get
00:09:22 --> 00:09:25 back up? Didn't you say a word wrong? And then
00:09:25 --> 00:09:28 you practice it and you said it right? Failure
00:09:28 --> 00:09:34 is the human process of how we learn, okay? The
00:09:34 --> 00:09:38 difference is the greatest achievers in the world
00:09:38 --> 00:09:43 fail more, not less. And the difference is they
00:09:43 --> 00:09:45 keep going. So if you're right now listening
00:09:45 --> 00:09:48 to this and you're failing, I'd like to congratulate
00:09:48 --> 00:09:52 you because you are actually starting to win.
00:09:52 --> 00:09:55 You're actually separating yourself from those
00:09:55 --> 00:10:01 poor, timid souls that don't even try. They just
00:10:01 --> 00:10:04 sit on the couch or they sit somewhere else and
00:10:04 --> 00:10:07 they don't even attempt. So if you are failing,
00:10:07 --> 00:10:10 that means you're courageous. It means that you're
00:10:10 --> 00:10:13 brave. It means that you're in the arena. It
00:10:13 --> 00:10:16 means that you're doing it. And my wish for you
00:10:16 --> 00:10:20 is I hope you fail. And I hope you fail a lot
00:10:20 --> 00:10:24 because it's in that failure. It's in that pain.
00:10:24 --> 00:10:26 It's in that suffering. It's in those dark nights
00:10:26 --> 00:10:30 of the soul that you grow. that you overcome
00:10:30 --> 00:10:35 your old self to become the person. This is the
00:10:35 --> 00:10:38 gift because problems, when I say problem to
00:10:38 --> 00:10:42 you, everybody immediately probably thinks bad,
00:10:42 --> 00:10:47 right? The great tragedy of humans is that we
00:10:47 --> 00:10:50 think we're not supposed to have problems. Everybody
00:10:50 --> 00:10:54 has problems. Here's a new definition for you.
00:10:54 --> 00:10:59 Ready? Yeah, sure. Problems are the gifts that
00:10:59 --> 00:11:03 we grow from. If you didn't have a problem, you
00:11:03 --> 00:11:06 wouldn't have the opportunity to grow. So true,
00:11:06 --> 00:11:10 Ari. That's so true. And I know you speak from
00:11:10 --> 00:11:12 experience. Again, a tunnel has two sides. Oh,
00:11:12 --> 00:11:16 I speak from a lot of experience of fucking every
00:11:16 --> 00:11:21 single thing up possible. I am the only thing
00:11:21 --> 00:11:24 I've gotten very good at. You lived through those
00:11:24 --> 00:11:27 experiences, right? Yeah. And I'm still here.
00:11:27 --> 00:11:30 I'm still here. I have more gray hair. Definitely.
00:11:31 --> 00:11:35 I'm a little bruised. I'm a little tired. My
00:11:35 --> 00:11:39 head is bloody, but my head is unbowed. My chin
00:11:39 --> 00:11:43 is up. And this is the difference. We're not
00:11:43 --> 00:11:47 told that we're supposed to fail. We're not told
00:11:47 --> 00:11:51 that it's supposed to be hard. It's meant to
00:11:51 --> 00:11:55 be hard. Just if you're doing bench press, you're
00:11:55 --> 00:11:58 pushing the bench press. The first rep of lightweight,
00:11:58 --> 00:12:00 nothing happens. The second weight lightweight,
00:12:01 --> 00:12:07 nothing happens. On the last one or two, 95 %
00:12:07 --> 00:12:14 of the growth happens in the last two reps. This
00:12:14 --> 00:12:17 is the same in everything. That's so true. Ari,
00:12:17 --> 00:12:22 so then when someone actually faces that failure,
00:12:22 --> 00:12:25 we know the failure would actually take them
00:12:25 --> 00:12:30 to success at one point. Well, let's talk about
00:12:30 --> 00:12:33 that for a second. Okay. Not necessarily. But
00:12:33 --> 00:12:35 let me tell you, there's a formula, I think.
00:12:37 --> 00:12:40 You failed. Okay. And I failed a lot. Read my
00:12:40 --> 00:12:43 book, The Gift of Failure. If you read my book
00:12:43 --> 00:12:45 or you listen to it on Spotify, you can buy it
00:12:45 --> 00:12:48 on Amazon or Audible. The first line of the book
00:12:48 --> 00:12:51 is, I hope you fail. I hope you fail a lot. Okay.
00:12:52 --> 00:12:55 And in some of these soul crushing failures I
00:12:55 --> 00:12:57 experienced in business and health, you know,
00:12:57 --> 00:13:00 in life and different things, the thing that
00:13:00 --> 00:13:04 I've learned, okay. is that when you fail, not
00:13:04 --> 00:13:07 if, when, you're going to fail in whatever. And
00:13:07 --> 00:13:09 so you might as well shoot big. You might as
00:13:09 --> 00:13:11 well try to do something big because either you're
00:13:11 --> 00:13:14 going to fail real small and win small, but if
00:13:14 --> 00:13:17 you at least shoot big, you'll fail big, and
00:13:17 --> 00:13:19 then you can make it big. So if you're trying
00:13:19 --> 00:13:21 to fail, you're going to fail no matter what
00:13:21 --> 00:13:24 you do. You can fail at a little job or you can
00:13:24 --> 00:13:27 fail at a big job. I prefer to try to fail at
00:13:27 --> 00:13:30 a big job, and I recommend that as well because
00:13:30 --> 00:13:34 you're going to fail anyway. And if you keep
00:13:34 --> 00:13:37 going, then you'll succeed. But one of the key
00:13:37 --> 00:13:42 ingredients is when you fail at something, most
00:13:42 --> 00:13:46 people who are ambitious, let's say, get back
00:13:46 --> 00:13:48 up. Good for you. Because you have to keep going.
00:13:49 --> 00:13:50 Resilient people, right? Yeah. Resilient people
00:13:50 --> 00:13:52 get back up. Those who are resilient, yeah. But
00:13:52 --> 00:13:55 I highly recommend you don't get back up so quickly.
00:13:56 --> 00:13:59 I recommend that when you fall and you land on
00:13:59 --> 00:14:03 your back, lay there. Lay there for a little
00:14:03 --> 00:14:07 bit and think about what went wrong, what went
00:14:07 --> 00:14:11 right, what happened. Trace your steps. When
00:14:11 --> 00:14:14 you look at the best athletes in the world, okay,
00:14:14 --> 00:14:17 one of the things they all do, they watch film.
00:14:18 --> 00:14:21 They watch hours and hours and hours and hours
00:14:21 --> 00:14:24 of their own games, of their competitors, watching
00:14:24 --> 00:14:26 every move of what happened, what went wrong
00:14:26 --> 00:14:29 in a play, what went right in a play. Same thing
00:14:29 --> 00:14:31 you should do in your life. Lay on your back
00:14:31 --> 00:14:34 for a little bit. Don't get up so quickly. Lay
00:14:34 --> 00:14:37 there. And first of all, don't get too comfortable
00:14:37 --> 00:14:38 because you don't want to be there for too long.
00:14:38 --> 00:14:41 But you want to be there enough to know what
00:14:41 --> 00:14:43 went wrong, what went right. And then when you
00:14:43 --> 00:14:46 realize what went wrong and what went right,
00:14:46 --> 00:14:49 you can do what went right again. And what went
00:14:49 --> 00:14:52 wrong, not to do that again. And you can learn
00:14:52 --> 00:14:55 the lesson because you have to have introspection
00:14:55 --> 00:14:59 to look back. Find out what went wrong. Ask why
00:14:59 --> 00:15:04 it went wrong. Learn, then get back up. It is
00:15:04 --> 00:15:09 only a gift if you look back and you learn and
00:15:09 --> 00:15:13 you let failure be feedback and then persist
00:15:13 --> 00:15:16 in what you're doing. That's one of the most,
00:15:16 --> 00:15:18 most valuable advices I've gotten in such a long
00:15:18 --> 00:15:21 time, Ari. Everyone just, you know, says that,
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24 okay, so you have failed, so you'll get back
00:15:24 --> 00:15:27 up and just regain that strength. But a very
00:15:27 --> 00:15:31 important thing, That I have learned. If I do
00:15:31 --> 00:15:34 fail, then just take the time to reflect. Just
00:15:34 --> 00:15:36 lay low, but not again, not get too comfortable.
00:15:37 --> 00:15:39 But understand why that happened, right? Take
00:15:39 --> 00:15:41 a nap. Think of it like taking a little nap.
00:15:41 --> 00:15:43 You don't want to sleep there. You don't want
00:15:43 --> 00:15:45 to sleep out there. But you might want to take
00:15:45 --> 00:15:49 a nap. Yeah, for sure, for sure. Sit with it.
00:15:49 --> 00:15:52 Sit with it for a second. Sit with yourself.
00:15:53 --> 00:15:58 and figure out what the fuck went wrong and also
00:15:58 --> 00:16:00 what went right because it's not not everything
00:16:00 --> 00:16:04 went wrong you breathed you got to eat you met
00:16:04 --> 00:16:07 some nice people you try so it's not all everything
00:16:07 --> 00:16:10 went to shit that's bullshit too don't lie some
00:16:10 --> 00:16:13 things were right some things were good something
00:16:13 --> 00:16:15 were enjoyable some things you want to do again
00:16:15 --> 00:16:19 and just take inventory of what it is and maybe
00:16:19 --> 00:16:22 get a piece of paper. Benjamin Franklin used
00:16:22 --> 00:16:24 to, whenever before he was going to make a decision,
00:16:24 --> 00:16:27 he would take a piece of paper and draw a line
00:16:27 --> 00:16:29 in the middle and write the pros of why to do
00:16:29 --> 00:16:32 it, the cons of why not to do it. And it sounds
00:16:32 --> 00:16:35 very simple, but this is a very simple exercise
00:16:35 --> 00:16:37 where you can write down after this failure,
00:16:37 --> 00:16:40 you lie down there, you take a little nap, you
00:16:40 --> 00:16:44 take a little breather, you have to rest, recharge.
00:16:45 --> 00:16:48 before going at it again. Just when you go to
00:16:48 --> 00:16:50 the gym and you do a very hard workout, are you
00:16:50 --> 00:16:52 supposed to go to the gym the next day again?
00:16:53 --> 00:16:55 Just rest for a bit. Regain that composure. That's
00:16:55 --> 00:17:00 when muscles grow. This is when muscles grow.
00:17:01 --> 00:17:04 It's during the rest. The push is when you're
00:17:04 --> 00:17:07 ripping the muscle apart. The rest and the recovery
00:17:07 --> 00:17:10 is when you're growing. And this is the same
00:17:10 --> 00:17:12 for your emotions and your psychology. Push,
00:17:13 --> 00:17:18 fail, rest. figure out a plan, get back up, experiment,
00:17:18 --> 00:17:23 experience, repeat over and over again till you
00:17:23 --> 00:17:28 fail so much that one day you realize that you
00:17:28 --> 00:17:31 were a success all along. So wonderful, Ari,
00:17:31 --> 00:17:33 to hear. And thank you so much for sharing those
00:17:33 --> 00:17:36 words of wisdom, by the way, you know, and I'm
00:17:36 --> 00:17:39 sure our listeners would understand the deep
00:17:39 --> 00:17:42 meaning, the inner meaning that... you have been
00:17:42 --> 00:17:45 like telling them about taking the time to step
00:17:45 --> 00:17:48 back to assess the situation before you know
00:17:48 --> 00:17:52 diving into that because without like thinking
00:17:52 --> 00:17:55 without reflecting just diving back every time
00:17:55 --> 00:17:57 can lead to failure again and again which someone
00:17:57 --> 00:18:00 might don't want to again ari i wanted to ask
00:18:00 --> 00:18:04 you another important aspect is that transparency
00:18:04 --> 00:18:07 is always helpful or transparency is important.
00:18:07 --> 00:18:10 Even when someone is reflecting their own self
00:18:10 --> 00:18:13 to others, or even when we are mixing in the
00:18:13 --> 00:18:16 society, even when we're talking ourselves to
00:18:16 --> 00:18:19 ourselves. It's often seen in competitive industries,
00:18:20 --> 00:18:22 people to hide their losses. They want to show
00:18:22 --> 00:18:25 themselves as prosperous. They're very good.
00:18:25 --> 00:18:27 That is what we see in the television. That is
00:18:27 --> 00:18:30 what we see when we see someone successful. We
00:18:30 --> 00:18:33 don't know what went behind them. This is just
00:18:33 --> 00:18:36 not reality. We can't mistake, we can't confuse
00:18:36 --> 00:18:42 Instagram, Photoshop with reality, okay? And
00:18:42 --> 00:18:46 I know what you mean, but if there's a difference
00:18:46 --> 00:18:50 between trying to control your brand, put yourself
00:18:50 --> 00:18:55 in the best light, this is fine. And I look at
00:18:55 --> 00:19:01 it as the... Most important promises. Because
00:19:01 --> 00:19:03 transparency is a promise if you think about
00:19:03 --> 00:19:07 it in a way. That's true. First, keep the promises
00:19:07 --> 00:19:12 you make to yourself. Because if you don't keep
00:19:12 --> 00:19:15 the promises you make to yourself, you don't
00:19:15 --> 00:19:17 have self -respect. I'll give you an example.
00:19:17 --> 00:19:20 People that say they have low self -esteem, they
00:19:20 --> 00:19:24 have low confidence. The reason why is because...
00:19:25 --> 00:19:27 They don't keep the promises they make to their
00:19:27 --> 00:19:28 self. And we've all done this. I'm going to go
00:19:28 --> 00:19:30 to the gym tomorrow. And you don't go to the
00:19:30 --> 00:19:33 gym. I'm going to start eating healthy. You don't
00:19:33 --> 00:19:35 start eating healthy. Think of it as the person
00:19:35 --> 00:19:38 in your brain is another person to understand
00:19:38 --> 00:19:42 it. So you and me, I say to you, we're going
00:19:42 --> 00:19:44 to meet at the gym tomorrow at 8 o 'clock in
00:19:44 --> 00:19:46 the morning. And we both say, okay, I promise
00:19:46 --> 00:19:48 I'll meet you. You go to the gym at 8. I don't
00:19:48 --> 00:19:52 show up. And you say, what the fuck? You didn't
00:19:52 --> 00:19:55 come. And then later on, you call me and say,
00:19:55 --> 00:19:56 Ari, what the fuck? You told me you were going
00:19:56 --> 00:19:59 to come. And I say, oh, man, I got tied up. And
00:19:59 --> 00:20:01 you say, okay, no problem. Meet me tomorrow.
00:20:01 --> 00:20:03 I said, no problem. I promise I'll meet you there
00:20:03 --> 00:20:05 tomorrow at 8 o 'clock. 8 o 'clock comes tomorrow.
00:20:05 --> 00:20:08 You're there. I'm not there. Then that time,
00:20:08 --> 00:20:10 what do you think about me? Am I a reliable person?
00:20:10 --> 00:20:14 Can you trust me? Now that's what you think about
00:20:14 --> 00:20:17 yourself. Every time that you tell yourself,
00:20:17 --> 00:20:19 I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to start
00:20:19 --> 00:20:21 running again, I'm going to start. So you keep
00:20:21 --> 00:20:24 lying to yourself over and over and over again.
00:20:25 --> 00:20:28 And you lose personal integrity. And someone
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31 that doesn't have personal integrity doesn't
00:20:31 --> 00:20:34 even have the privilege of keeping promises to
00:20:34 --> 00:20:36 other people. Those are the people that aren't
00:20:36 --> 00:20:38 transparent. Those are the people that aren't
00:20:38 --> 00:20:41 vulnerable. The ones that learn to keep the promises
00:20:41 --> 00:20:44 they make to themselves. are automatically transparent
00:20:44 --> 00:20:47 and vulnerable because there is power in vulnerability.
00:20:47 --> 00:20:51 And only people that have earned personal integrity
00:20:51 --> 00:20:55 promises to themselves can actually be vulnerable
00:20:55 --> 00:20:58 and know that true power lies in vulnerability,
00:20:58 --> 00:21:02 not in hiding. That's so true, Ari. I have never
00:21:02 --> 00:21:04 thought, I've never thought the way you just
00:21:04 --> 00:21:07 made me think. Well, you have a gift, Ari. You
00:21:07 --> 00:21:10 made me think that if I, I would question myself
00:21:10 --> 00:21:14 if I'm not following up to my own word that I
00:21:14 --> 00:21:17 give to myself and definitely is lingering with
00:21:17 --> 00:21:20 personal integrity. I'm lacking in, if I'm lacking
00:21:20 --> 00:21:22 in that, it will definitely be reflective in
00:21:22 --> 00:21:25 my actions. Beautiful. And would definitely render
00:21:25 --> 00:21:28 transparency to myself and to others as well.
00:21:28 --> 00:21:32 This is the, this should be the focus. And once
00:21:32 --> 00:21:36 we build by the promises we make to ourself,
00:21:36 --> 00:21:40 the promises to other people are easy. The hardest
00:21:40 --> 00:21:44 promise, the hardest transparency is you with
00:21:44 --> 00:21:49 you. That's so true. Yeah, indeed. Ari, can I
00:21:49 --> 00:21:52 ask you a question from your experience? What
00:21:52 --> 00:21:56 role does ownership play in turning adversity
00:21:56 --> 00:22:00 into growth? Everything. You have to take total
00:22:00 --> 00:22:04 responsibility. Total responsibility. Absolute
00:22:04 --> 00:22:08 responsibility. And remember, life isn't fair.
00:22:08 --> 00:22:11 It never was. It never will be. Okay? Period.
00:22:12 --> 00:22:14 There's always going to be things that happen.
00:22:14 --> 00:22:17 It's just not fair. And you might say it's not
00:22:17 --> 00:22:20 your fault. Maybe not, but it is your fucking
00:22:20 --> 00:22:23 responsibility. And if it's not your responsibility,
00:22:23 --> 00:22:25 that means one thing. It means that you don't
00:22:25 --> 00:22:28 have control. And if you don't have control,
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30 you don't have anything. And so when you take
00:22:30 --> 00:22:34 control of your own life, you're saying, I'm
00:22:34 --> 00:22:36 the master of my fate. I'm the captain of my
00:22:36 --> 00:22:39 soul. I am the creator of my life. I am not a
00:22:39 --> 00:22:42 manager of circumstances. I'm a fucking victim.
00:22:43 --> 00:22:45 I'm going to do what I can at least control my
00:22:45 --> 00:22:48 own thoughts. They asked Nelson Mandela. Nelson
00:22:48 --> 00:22:51 Mandela had been in prison now for at the time
00:22:51 --> 00:22:55 about 30 years and Tony Robbins got to interview
00:22:55 --> 00:22:58 him. And I love Tony Robbins, by the way. Tony
00:22:58 --> 00:23:02 Robbins is a global treasure. And anybody out
00:23:02 --> 00:23:04 there looking to change their life, go to a Tony
00:23:04 --> 00:23:06 Robbins seminar and give yourself the gift of
00:23:06 --> 00:23:09 immersion with people or listen to his audios,
00:23:09 --> 00:23:11 read his books. I've read all of them, attended
00:23:11 --> 00:23:13 a seminar. I did one of his virtual seminars
00:23:13 --> 00:23:16 two months ago in my living room. The learning
00:23:16 --> 00:23:18 never stops. Constant, never -ending improvement.
00:23:19 --> 00:23:23 Constantly never -ending improving. So Tony talked
00:23:23 --> 00:23:28 to Nelson, to Mr. Mandela, and he said, how did
00:23:28 --> 00:23:33 you survive all those years? And he looked at
00:23:33 --> 00:23:39 him, he said, survive? I didn't survive. I prepared
00:23:39 --> 00:23:41 because he knew either they were going to kill
00:23:41 --> 00:23:44 him. or the com or the country was going to revolt
00:23:44 --> 00:23:46 or they were going to free him and he was going
00:23:46 --> 00:23:49 to have to lead this is the exact way that we
00:23:49 --> 00:23:53 must all aspire in our own minds is to take responsibility
00:23:53 --> 00:23:57 even when you're imprisoned imprison your own
00:23:57 --> 00:23:59 mind imprisoned with your body you have the right
00:23:59 --> 00:24:01 to choose you have the right to make a decision
00:24:01 --> 00:24:03 what it's going to mean and pain and suffering
00:24:03 --> 00:24:06 aren't the same thing pain is when someone punches
00:24:06 --> 00:24:09 you and it breaks your arm this is pain suffering
00:24:09 --> 00:24:12 is when you say oh It's me, this herb, I'm so
00:24:12 --> 00:24:14 this, why did this happen to me? This is suffering.
00:24:15 --> 00:24:17 Suffering is a choice. In this, of course, there's
00:24:17 --> 00:24:19 people that are suffering all over the world
00:24:19 --> 00:24:22 or in pain that don't have a choice. It doesn't
00:24:22 --> 00:24:24 apply to them. There's a billion people that
00:24:24 --> 00:24:27 don't have running water. There's 300 million
00:24:27 --> 00:24:28 women that can't go to school because they're
00:24:28 --> 00:24:31 women. If you are blessed and privileged enough
00:24:31 --> 00:24:33 to be listening to this thing, two regular guys
00:24:33 --> 00:24:36 talking on a podcast, be able to hear something
00:24:36 --> 00:24:39 with a digital device. and you have your limbs,
00:24:39 --> 00:24:43 you have your faculties, you're privileged to
00:24:43 --> 00:24:45 have these luxuries, then you have a choice.
00:24:46 --> 00:24:50 That's so true, Ari. That's so true. Thank you
00:24:50 --> 00:24:53 so much for sharing that wonderful words of wisdom
00:24:53 --> 00:24:58 and being able to help me think and also our
00:24:58 --> 00:25:01 audiences think what mindset they have to set
00:25:01 --> 00:25:04 in terms of taking your own ownership for their
00:25:04 --> 00:25:07 personal development. The next question I'm going
00:25:07 --> 00:25:10 to ask you, I can just say by talking to you,
00:25:10 --> 00:25:13 you're a very humble person. You have a lot of
00:25:13 --> 00:25:16 humility. And I'm sure that translates into the
00:25:16 --> 00:25:20 work you do as well with your clients. But you're
00:25:20 --> 00:25:22 also very successful and success comes with ambition.
00:25:23 --> 00:25:25 Can I ask you from your experience, how do you
00:25:25 --> 00:25:28 balance ambition with humility, especially after
00:25:28 --> 00:25:32 experiencing a major win or a major loss? I am
00:25:32 --> 00:25:36 not humble. in the sense of the word humble that
00:25:36 --> 00:25:43 i think less of myself i am in awe that i've
00:25:43 --> 00:25:47 been so blessed in my life there's a difference
00:25:47 --> 00:25:50 or yes i've worked very hard but in my business
00:25:50 --> 00:25:53 in the construction business and in life i see
00:25:53 --> 00:25:56 a lot of people that work hard very hard especially
00:25:56 --> 00:25:59 my construction workers insane they get up you
00:25:59 --> 00:26:01 know before the sun comes up and they work till
00:26:01 --> 00:26:05 the sun comes down and I'm in awe of how many
00:26:05 --> 00:26:09 people have helped me. I'm in awe of the grace
00:26:09 --> 00:26:12 that I've had. I'm in awe that I got to be born
00:26:12 --> 00:26:14 in America. I'm in awe that I got to go to the
00:26:14 --> 00:26:17 school I got to go to. I'm in awe of the friends
00:26:17 --> 00:26:19 that I've been surrounded with, the staff that
00:26:19 --> 00:26:21 I have, the people who believed in our vision
00:26:21 --> 00:26:25 of our investors of our. projects because life
00:26:25 --> 00:26:28 is not individual sports. Life is team sports.
00:26:28 --> 00:26:32 Nobody accomplishes anything alone by themselves.
00:26:32 --> 00:26:37 And even if yes, so my success maybe is not mine.
00:26:38 --> 00:26:42 It's shared. And I know from enough failure and
00:26:42 --> 00:26:45 enough success and enough things that I have
00:26:45 --> 00:26:48 so much gratitude for my teachers, for my teammates,
00:26:48 --> 00:26:51 for my partners, for all the different things
00:26:51 --> 00:26:54 that have come in, the wisdom that I've had from
00:26:54 --> 00:26:57 gifts from so many people in so many different
00:26:57 --> 00:27:02 ways that me expressing it in a way that would
00:27:02 --> 00:27:05 appear not humble by the definition you're talking
00:27:05 --> 00:27:10 about just wouldn't be the truth. And so it's
00:27:10 --> 00:27:14 not that I think less of myself. I think less
00:27:14 --> 00:27:18 about myself. But this wasn't always the case.
00:27:18 --> 00:27:22 I was very arrogant. I was very angry. I was
00:27:22 --> 00:27:25 very self -absorbed. I was very unhappy. And
00:27:25 --> 00:27:30 it wasn't until I started to understand the reality
00:27:30 --> 00:27:34 of the grace that exists in life, the gift that
00:27:34 --> 00:27:38 it is to have. We have a heart in our chest,
00:27:38 --> 00:27:43 okay, that beats 100 times a day. And you
00:27:43 --> 00:27:45 don't even have to think about it. This is a
00:27:45 --> 00:27:49 gift. Truly. And not in some woo -woo words.
00:27:49 --> 00:27:53 This is a gift. No. It's a fucking gift. They
00:27:53 --> 00:27:55 have this one life to do this thing and it doesn't
00:27:55 --> 00:27:58 happen in a vacuum. And the minute you realize
00:27:58 --> 00:28:01 that, actually realize that, your whole world
00:28:01 --> 00:28:04 changes. That's so true. Changing the mindset
00:28:04 --> 00:28:07 even actually helps us a lot, you know, to think
00:28:07 --> 00:28:09 onto the life differently with a different set
00:28:09 --> 00:28:12 of eyes and not just being, you know, feeling
00:28:12 --> 00:28:16 bad for ourselves, but feeling bad serves no
00:28:16 --> 00:28:21 one. That's so true. Feeling bad serves no one.
00:28:21 --> 00:28:24 That's so true. If your life is about contribution
00:28:24 --> 00:28:27 and that's how you build a big business, you
00:28:27 --> 00:28:30 serve more people. They asked John D. Rockefeller,
00:28:30 --> 00:28:33 how did you become a billionaire? He said, easy.
00:28:34 --> 00:28:37 I made a thousand people millionaires. Wow. That's
00:28:37 --> 00:28:40 powerful. Yeah. And this is the whole point.
00:28:41 --> 00:28:45 We are all equal as souls, but we're not equal
00:28:45 --> 00:28:49 in the marketplace. Yeah, yeah. Whoever gives
00:28:49 --> 00:28:54 more value, that's who gets the money. Yes, that's
00:28:54 --> 00:28:59 so true. That's so true, Ari. Ari, I know from
00:28:59 --> 00:29:02 your track record, you're a winner. You have
00:29:02 --> 00:29:05 done so many investments. You run a multi -billion
00:29:05 --> 00:29:08 dollar company. What does winning look like to
00:29:08 --> 00:29:12 you now compared to when you began your career
00:29:12 --> 00:29:17 in very early stage? Winning now, before winning
00:29:17 --> 00:29:20 to me was maybe about how much money I made.
00:29:20 --> 00:29:22 You know, if I was winning, I was winning a deal,
00:29:22 --> 00:29:26 I was winning a business. Now winning is having
00:29:26 --> 00:29:31 control over how I feel. Controlling my state.
00:29:32 --> 00:29:36 If I won the day. I kept my mind and my heart
00:29:36 --> 00:29:39 centered around my blessings. I kept more of
00:29:39 --> 00:29:42 my time centered around gratitude, around joy,
00:29:43 --> 00:29:46 around these feelings, because it's always a
00:29:46 --> 00:29:48 choice. Can you focus on what's wrong? Yeah.
00:29:49 --> 00:29:51 Or you can focus what's on right. They're both
00:29:51 --> 00:29:55 available. And the day that I spend more of my
00:29:55 --> 00:29:59 time focusing on what's right. is winning. Thanks
00:29:59 --> 00:30:01 for so clearly and precisely explaining that.
00:30:02 --> 00:30:04 I hope our listeners will have food for thought
00:30:04 --> 00:30:08 on that one. Ari, I wanted to ask you one last
00:30:08 --> 00:30:11 question, but not last in terms of being the
00:30:11 --> 00:30:14 last, but it's very important to me because I
00:30:14 --> 00:30:17 want to learn that from you. When you look back,
00:30:18 --> 00:30:22 which setback are you most grateful for and why?
00:30:24 --> 00:30:28 I am most grateful You mean as a businessman
00:30:28 --> 00:30:33 or in life? What category? Because there's been
00:30:33 --> 00:30:36 several setbacks in different ways. I want to
00:30:36 --> 00:30:40 make sure I answer your question. I would like
00:30:40 --> 00:30:44 to know in the perspective of your, from your
00:30:44 --> 00:30:47 personal development, but in association with
00:30:47 --> 00:30:49 your career growth. Sorry, I'm making it a bit
00:30:49 --> 00:30:53 complicated, but I think in my career. As a business
00:30:53 --> 00:30:56 person, and I talk about it in my book, I started
00:30:56 --> 00:30:59 a massive entertainment company in my 20s. And
00:30:59 --> 00:31:02 we basically did everything right. We signed
00:31:02 --> 00:31:05 the biggest act in the world, the Black Eyed
00:31:05 --> 00:31:08 Peas, for the Super Bowl in Dallas. We had Sports
00:31:08 --> 00:31:12 Illustrated sponsor it. We sold tables for $50
00:31:12 --> 00:31:16 , tickets for thousands of dollars. We used
00:31:16 --> 00:31:19 our minds, our bodies, our work ethic, our ingenuity,
00:31:19 --> 00:31:22 and had the biggest celebrities in the world
00:31:22 --> 00:31:26 sign up to come to our event. And then the biggest
00:31:26 --> 00:31:29 ice storm in the history of Dallas destroyed
00:31:29 --> 00:31:31 the profitability of the party. And then the
00:31:31 --> 00:31:35 following week, I had won a poker match against
00:31:35 --> 00:31:38 Hugh Hefner to rent the Playboy Mansion to throw
00:31:38 --> 00:31:40 a party at the Playboy Mansion. A longer story.
00:31:41 --> 00:31:44 And then we had Snoop Dogg performing at the
00:31:44 --> 00:31:46 NBA All -Star Weekend at the Playboy Mansion.
00:31:47 --> 00:31:50 And then Legionnaire's disease broke out at the
00:31:50 --> 00:31:53 Playboy Mansion. The party got canceled. I tell
00:31:53 --> 00:31:55 you, this happened within one week of each other.
00:31:56 --> 00:31:59 These two insane, out -of -the -blue things.
00:32:00 --> 00:32:03 And it taught me before I became a professional
00:32:03 --> 00:32:07 investor that I needed to focus on what could
00:32:07 --> 00:32:14 go wrong to protect my clients, to protect their
00:32:14 --> 00:32:17 interests. and manage the downside and have risk
00:32:17 --> 00:32:21 management control instead of focusing on how
00:32:21 --> 00:32:23 much money we can make, how good things could
00:32:23 --> 00:32:26 go. Because if you focus for the downside and
00:32:26 --> 00:32:29 you prepare even for the unplannable, you keep
00:32:29 --> 00:32:32 extra cash, you have all the contingencies in
00:32:32 --> 00:32:35 place, you can then increase the probability
00:32:35 --> 00:32:38 of how much money or how much success you can
00:32:38 --> 00:32:41 have. It's called a hedge. It's called risk management,
00:32:41 --> 00:32:45 downside protection, whatever term. And I'm so
00:32:45 --> 00:32:48 glad that happened as a young man in my 20s.
00:32:48 --> 00:32:50 I went to sleep a millionaire and I woke up broke.
00:32:50 --> 00:32:52 I was a millionaire for about seven or eight
00:32:52 --> 00:32:56 hours in my 20s. And I'm so glad that I did it
00:32:56 --> 00:33:00 then when the stakes were so low instead of doing
00:33:00 --> 00:33:02 it now with billions and billions of dollars.
00:33:03 --> 00:33:05 And when that's capital that belongs to firefighters
00:33:05 --> 00:33:09 and teachers and hardworking people that invest
00:33:09 --> 00:33:11 with us, trust us, it doesn't guarantee every
00:33:11 --> 00:33:13 deal is going to make sense, but it does guarantee
00:33:13 --> 00:33:17 that I focus on my customers and the objective
00:33:17 --> 00:33:21 and not think about my own self -interest. Thank
00:33:21 --> 00:33:23 you so much, Ari. That was so wonderful talking
00:33:23 --> 00:33:25 to you. I know you're a very busy person, but
00:33:25 --> 00:33:28 you gave some of your very valuable time this
00:33:28 --> 00:33:31 evening to talk to me and my audience and support
00:33:31 --> 00:33:33 them a little bit, understanding what actually
00:33:33 --> 00:33:38 goes into a billionaire's mindset, their journey
00:33:38 --> 00:33:41 of seeing through all of that and what actually
00:33:41 --> 00:33:44 it leads at the end, how people should actually
00:33:44 --> 00:33:47 think this was a valuable, valuable episode.
00:33:47 --> 00:33:51 And I'm so happy too. have you and discuss with
00:33:51 --> 00:33:54 you thank you very much for having me buddy dear
00:33:54 --> 00:33:55 listeners thank you so much for listening to
00:33:55 --> 00:33:58 this episode i hope you have a wonderful day
00:33:58 --> 00:34:02 but again i would really encourage you to go
00:34:02 --> 00:34:06 and check Ari Rastegar's website. I'll give the
00:34:06 --> 00:34:09 link into the description of the podcast as well
00:34:09 --> 00:34:11 as in the YouTube video as well. If you have
00:34:11 --> 00:34:14 any questions for Ari, if you're interested in
00:34:14 --> 00:34:17 his company, please feel free to visit that as
00:34:17 --> 00:34:20 well. Have a wonderful evening. Take care. See
00:34:20 --> 00:34:25 you guys soon. Thank you, brother. Thank you
00:34:25 --> 00:34:28 for joining us on the Active Action podcast at
00:34:28 --> 00:34:31 activeaction .fm. We hope today's episode gave
00:34:31 --> 00:34:34 you some entertainment. fresh perspectives and
00:34:34 --> 00:34:36 a little extra motivation to take action in your
00:34:36 --> 00:34:39 own life don't forget to subscribe so you never
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